Who Shoulders Blame and Why Should We Care?

Ever miss seeing a person in your side-view mirror? When something goes wrong, pointing a finger's more often a first reactions rather than admitting a mistake? Ever wonder why blaming someone else comes so easily?

Photo by a2gemma

Consider this scenario...

At work, a note with an outlined project got lost in the pile on my desk. A week later when Dr. Weber inquired if the project was ready, I asked for the details. It was humbling to realize I had been careless. I confessed that I somehow lost it.

Why is it so hard to admit a mistake?

Ego and social conditioning.

We all want to look good. A natural instinct arises to protect our self-image. Over time, unless we learn to own up to mistakes and be accountable, we easily blame a circumstance to "save face."

We see many other people blaming others in the course of a week. Blaming others is soon embedded in our brains, since we witness it frequently. It works like a mirror-image. The old saying, "Monkey see, monkey do," best describes the action as discussed by Dr. Daniel Glaser.

However, letting ego and social conditioning shape our actions often spells disaster. And in this recession, fear can become more of a factor driving actions...

"Blame creates a culture of fear," Nathanael J. Fast of Stanford said, "and this leads to a host of negative consequences for individuals and for groups."

A manager can keep a lid on the behavior by rewarding employees who learn from their mistakes and by making a point to acknowledge publicly his or her own mistakes, Fast says. Managers may also want to assign blame, when necessary, in private and offer praise in public to create a positive attitude in the workplace.

Or, managers could follow the lead of companies such as Intuit, which implemented a "When Learning Hurts" session where they celebrated and learned from mistakes, rather than pointing fingers and assigning blame. The blame contagion research provides empirical evidence that such a practice can avoid negative effects in the culture of the organization.

Capitalize on more magic from your mirror neurons! By paying more attention to leaders who "celebrate and learn from mistakes," we'll create a brain-friendly work culture where people thrive and productivity reaches peaks.

How might you use these strategies to create a more brain-friendly climate that energizes others, rather than blaming them when mistakes are made where you work?

Memorize More - Outsource Less

"Try using your memory more," Stephen DeMaio cautions in the Mangement Tip of the Day at Harvard Business Publishing. Though today's technology opens a warehouse of tools to keep schedules, records of life - text, photos and other archives, we're relying much less on our brain to store these. Can you recall phone numbers you use often or can you picture a visual map of where the doctor's located, whom you visit yearly?

When calculators came on the scene, memorizing multiplication tables became less important. PDA's, smart phones and GPS devices eliminatied the need to memorize schedules or phone numbers and to dicipher maps.

Why does it matter? "What we're outsourcing to technology," David Bucci, Dartmouth College observes, "we're not relying on our brains to do any more."

If we learn to use technology and new apps, doesn't that stimulate the brain to learn to do new tasks? Yes, but there's a downside as well... "Recording everything you do takes people out of the "here and now," Barry Schwartz of Swarthmore College notes. "Constant documenting may make people less thoughtful about and engaged in what they're doing because they are focused on the recording process."

Here's the clincher about why committing more to memory and stimulating our working memory works in our favor... "The key thing is that the sedentary brain, just like the sedentary body, is going to atrophy," Bucci affirms.

Consciously challenge your brain to do more! For instance, create ways to turn boring tasks into fun at work. Memorize favorite scriptures, telephone numbers or friend and family birthdays.

As we age, the more we learn and put in our memory bank, the longer we'll enjoy mental acumen.

Joy of ChoosingToys

Ever wonder why toys seem so segregated in stores? 'Pink and blue aisles" line most stores and there's no middle ground. Strict segregation separates boys' aisles from girls'. What if a girl wants a spaceship or a boy desires a kitchen set?

On the heels of hearing an NPR radio broadcast in which Dads raising families discussed the separation of toys in stores by pink and blue and the clear division between the two, I went into Hobby House Toys to purchase a card game for one of my grandsons. A wonderful integration of toys and games stimulates your senses - toys that you just do not see in the big stores, such as marble runs, games and toys from abroad. How refreshing!

All of this sparked memories and curiosity about toys and play as they impact learning and careers.

When I first came to the U.S. as a child, I admired electric trains on miniature tracks, rolling under Christmas trees. No doubt my trip across the United States by train, when I first arrived here as a child, stimulated this fascination for trains. Luckily my parents were not so restrictive that they told me these were "boy" toys, when I announced I wanted a train for Christmas. I do not think I was more pleased than when I received this gift... I know I played with it for hours on end, if I wasn't reading. My dolls found themselves on shelves because they seemed boring and I did not want to "mess them up" since they always looked so beautiful.

When one of my grandsons was about three, I asked what he wanted for Christmas. He told me that he wanted a doll so he could feed it a bottle of milk. When I considered his request, I thought it would not hurt for this little boy to be a "nurturer." His parents told me such a gift was fine with them. Someday, I expect he'll make a fine, loving Dad. Today he enjoys Star Wars computer games and playing t-ball. Another grandson told me he liked to play in the kitchen at his pre-school. He also loves Cars toys and puzzles. Seems like children who have a variety of toys will be more well-rounded as people? What are your thoughts?

Not too surprisingly, learning preferences in school connect to toys and play. Early toy preferences may point to later preferences in school achievement and ultimately professional choices, Becky Francis, professor of education at Roehampton University, London, says. "Girls tend not to enjoy traditionally masculine subjects, particularly science; boys still tend to outperform girls at higher-level maths," she writes. "I might suggest that if girls are inculcated into construction and technology via their play, as a form of entertainment, they may be inclined to feel these curriculum areas more familiar and less daunting/challenging."

But preferences for toys and play may be hard wired. "These early play preferences may not only be the result of socialization and marketing, however. A 2005 study looking at the play of young primates, by psychologist Professor Melissa Hines of Cambridge University, found that when offered a variety of toys, female monkeys tended to gravitate towards dolls and soft toys, while males chose toy cars."

Fellow blogger, Amy Jussel, is concerned about ways media shapes youth. She focuses on ways media to be used more as a tool for positive change.

What do you think about all this? How much do the toys we play with when young, guide our career choices or the kind of person we are today?